I Choose Jesus

The afternoon sun was hot on my face in the Target parking lot as she talked about the "real Christian" girl she knows. I know my face must've contorted when she said it or she wouldn't have felt the need to explain herself. 

She said, "You know. A 'real' Christian, like you. You know how you read your bible every day and witness to people and stuff?" 

My heart broke. 

It doesn't work that way. We don't live on a scale. 

Thank Jesus. 

No really, thank Jesus. 

That thought, the one that made her feel 'less than' when she compared herself to me or the girl she works with, that was nothing but conviction telling her what she already knows. She should read her bible more. She should pray more. She should go to church more. But not because it'll push her up a few notches on this fictitious Christian scale. She should want to do those things to draw near to her Savior. Trust me, that relationship is a beautiful thing when you can no longer trust your own strength to carry you. 

I know why we don't do those things sometimes. I'm guilty of it, too. We don't like feeling convicted, and conviction has a way of slapping you in the face when you open The Good Book or hit your knees in prayer. 

I had just finished explaining to this beautiful soul why I started Luke's Legacy, essentially witnessing to her, and she wanted to share another woman's story. As she started, the devil whispered a little lie into her ear that she isn't a "real" Christian because her works don't measure up to mine.

I wish I could tell you that I said, "Not today, Satan!" and straightened her thinking out right then and there. I'll be honest though, I was surprised (and okay-fine, a little flattered) so much by her statement that I missed an opportunity to tell her that my works don't make me the follower of Christ that I am. And they certainly won't get me to heaven. If I said otherwise, it would make me no better than the Pharisees that crucified Jesus. 

What she sees are fruits of the Spirit that resides in me, but they are certainly not the way to get to Heaven. Nope, there's only one Way. 

That's Jesus. 

Thank You, Jesus. 

What she sees are the products of my walk with The Lord. Evidence. Nothing more.

Now, is there evidence in your life? If not, maybe you should ask yourself if you're really saved. That's not up to me to decide, or anyone else for that matter. 

That's between you and Jesus. 

I can tell you this though. There isn't a scale that ranks Christians in order of their authenticity. There's either Salvation or not. 

Grace or not. 

Hope or not. 

Victory or not. 

Jesus or not. 

I choose Jesus.   

John 14:6-7 NIV

[6] Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. [7] If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” …

Heavy Love

It's hard to love like Jesus does. He loves everyone. Every. Single. Person. And He all loves us all the same. He loves us so much that he died to save us from our own weak, sinful selfs. Think about that kind of love for a second, and tell me that you can love every single person on this earth that way. 

Love every single murderer, rapist, and pedophile that way. Jesus does. 

Love every single racist, radical Islamist, and Neo-Nazi that way. Jesus does. 

Love every single homosexual, heterosexual, Democrat, Republican, black person, brown person, white person that way. Jesus does. 

Love every single sinner on this planet that way. Jesus does. 

He loves us. All of us. And there is not a single string attached. All we have to do is accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, ask Him into our heart, and live our life walking closely with Him. 

That kind of Love can be heavy. 

I've watched it become so heavy that I can no longer tell who has that kind of Love in their heart and who doesn't. Even when I'm sitting inside a church. We shouldn't have to play a guessing game to tell who follows Christ and who doesn't. It should show with every word we utter and with every step and breath we take. 

I've watched while a country, who should be rallying around and comforting each other, break out into social media wars over gun rights and presidential candidates. Our job is to spread the Gospel, not anger. Get out there and do your duties. Love your fellow man, all of them, and show them the Love that changed your life so that it can bring them the same Peace it brought you. 

I've watched Christians assign weights to different sins and arrogantly decide that they are somehow better than others because their sin doesn't show quite as badly. Visible sins are not greater than invisible sin, and invisible sins are not invisible to God. They're all the same, and you'll never be able to love like Jesus if you can't see that.

I've watched finger pointing and read meaningless arguments over whether Christianity is more or less violent than Islam. We shouldn't have to argue it or prove it if we're showing it. And sadly, a lot of us are not showing Love. We're not showing anything. 

I've watched Christians spin a moment in which they should've been sharing the Gospel and spreading a message of Hope, Peace, and Love into a moment that's prime for arguing over the reasons why. It's not 'us against them,' it's 'us against the devil,' and we let the devil win every time we choose pride or fear over sharing the Love of Jesus. 

These attacks. These disasters. These horrible, terrible things that happen to our people, the American people, are not a surprise to God. Each and every one of them is opportunity to serve, love, and teach our fellow man. 

Get out there and do it. 

Dear Students: What I Really Want to Say But Can't

Dear students,

There are so many things that I've wanted to tell you all year but I just couldn't say. Whether the reason be legal, logical, personal, or whatever, I just couldn't tell you what was on my mind. 

Well, I've never been very good at keeping my mouth shut, so I am going to tell you everything I've wanted to say. Right here. Right now. 

#1 

There is a such thing as a stupid question, and you, my dear, just asked one. Close your mouth before you do any more damage. 

#2

If you're going to choose to be dumb, you need to at least be pretty...or funny...or really athletic. You're none of those things. Pick up the dadgum pencil and let's do this!

#3
I die a little inside when you do the thing that I, just seconds ago, told your classmate not to do. I think the energy drained from trying not to yell in these situations has aged me at least a decade.

#3
I do not fail you. You fail you. All I do is deliver the information and mark your assignments when you turn them in. It does not make me happy to mark answer after answer wrong on your tests. I feel like a failure each and every time that I have a student fail my class. And yes, I guess I could just 'bump you up' that few points every semester to get that grade up to passing, but then I really would be failing you. And I refuse to do that.

#4

High school has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to solve a quadratic equation. It's not really about learning the causes of the Civil War. And no, your knowledge of covalent bonds will not affect you in the "real world." What you're really supposed to be learning is how to do crap you don't want to do while working with the people that you don't necessarily want to work with. You're supposed to be learning how to think critically and problem solve. What you're really supposed to be learning is how to survive college and the workforce and hopefully one day be a productive citizen. Many of you are failing. Miserably. Congrats. Now change it. It's not too late; try when you want to quit, be kindness when your world stacks up against you, and be humble even when you feel like a superhero. 

#5

The teacher that snapped on you that day that you didn't bring anything to class may have just found out that her sister has to start chemo tomorrow. That teacher that was less than patient that day that you just couldn't get MAC factoring may have just gotten a picture text from her husband of the headstone she recently had to design for her baby. Your teachers are only human. We have bad moods, we have bad days, and we sometimes make poor decisions. Give us a break every now and then. We both know your teachers have given you the benefit of the doubt more times than any of us could count. 

#6

Contrary to what you think that office referral, Saturday school assignment, or parent phone call may mean, I really do care about you. The only reason I discipline you is because I care about you. Trust me, it would be a whole lot easier if I just ignored that bad behavior or just 'let you fail.' (See #3) There may be times when I don't particularly like you, but I always, always care about you. The moment you stepped foot into my room, I worked to help you grow just like you were my child. Sometimes that growth requires some hard lessons, like summer school. Sometimes that growth required an abundance of grace, like the day you couldn't gather your emotions so I let you retake the test when you were feeling better. Every decision I made concerning you came with the subconscious thought, "What if he/she were my child? How would I want this handled?"

#7

This one is a biggie. This one was on the tip of my tongue every day, every time I saw your cuts, your tears, or your silent (and sometimes not so silent) cries for help. But I could never say it because...well, because we live in a broken world that has decided that your teachers can never, ever talk to you about this...

Jesus loves you. 

And even though your world and heart may be broken, in Him you will find only Peace. I desperately hope you find Him. Sadly, I can't lead you to Jesus with words, but I hope you witnessed His Love through me as you sat in my classroom.

Love,
Mrs. Rich

The Blank Basket: It'll Still Hold Eggs

I had a familiar feeling come over me yesterday while driving to my sister's house. As I crossed the 'four-lane' (as we southerners like to call it), I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to get J's Easter basket monogrammed like I had totally planned to for weeks. I even bought his basket in February so that I could take it to my monogrammer in plenty of time for Easter. In the middle of my pity party for myself and my forgetful brain, I had another startling realization -- I forgot to get Jasper an Easter outfit, too! I had even had whole conversations with coworkers and friends about Easter outfits for our children. After this realization, I had an avalanche of unchecked To-Do's flooding my brain, and I got very overwhelmed with life.

When I finally got to my sister's house, she mentioned that she'd be going shopping later that day and asked if I needed anything. I asked her to pretty please pick up something for J to wear to church, and we began a conversation about all of the stuff that I forgot to take care of for Easter. I told her in my best whiny, poor me voice that (gasp!) I forgot to get Jasper's basket monogrammed. In a way that only she can do, she looked at me with what I can only describe as "loving disgust" and told me in no uncertain terms that I was being ridiculous. She said, "But guess what?! It'll still hold eggs."

I laughed in response and went on my way, but her comment started me thinking. Okay, so yes, between raising a little boy, building a house, nurturing a marriage, rocking my full-time career as well as my new part-time job, and trying my best to walk with the Lord every day, I guess that I forgot to do and buy all of the 'stuff' that I've been brainwashed to think I need to have for Easter. But does any of it matter? Yes, those adorable knee socks and a darling little heirloom Easter basket would make for some precious pictures, but does it really matter? No.

Do you know what does matter? The fact that I asked my two-year-old if he knew why we were going to church this morning, and he responded, "Jesus!" No, he doesn't yet understand that Jesus died for our sins; he doesn't yet understand that he died and on the third day arose from the dead; and he doesn't yet understand that Jesus' resurrection is the cornerstone of Christianity...but he will. And that's what really matters. 

So, yeah, I'm the mama who picked her child's Easter basket goodies at the very last minute. I'm the mama who, because of a very busy schedule and slightly poor planning, had to stay up late to get Easter goodies ready. We're the family walking in to church ten minutes late because we had to turn around twice for forgotten things. We're the family surreptitiously pulling tags off of new clothes in the middle of a sermon because we didn't buy said clothes until the last minute and are always so rushed on Sunday mornings that we forgot to pull the tags off. I'm the mama who is just as likely to forgot the basket at home and force her son to hunt eggs with a grocery bag. 

But we're also a family that is overwhelmingly thankful that God hold us to a standard of Grace. And we will do our best to make sure that our son understands that Easter is less about your Sunday best and hunting eggs and more about a celebration of God's Unending Love and Amazing Grace.

By the way, we did hunt eggs using that blank Easter basket, and my sister was right...it did still hold eggs! 

Finding Peace in my Not So Quiet Time

I have struggled for as long as I can remember to find the time to read my Bible and really be still and listen to God. I'd try different times in the day, but, in the words of my uncle, God's cow always dies. The hour Id try to set aside before I went to bed would be stolen by time with my hubs, time to clean, or time to rock my sweet baby one more time. After years of trying to find a place and time to spend time with Him, I finally decided that I was just going to have to make time. Carve it out of my busy schedule and make it a priority.

Each morning, my alarm clock goes off about thirty minutes before I actually have to wake up, and I drag myself out of bed to sit in my oversized arm chair with my Bible and a cup of coffee so I can listen to what God wants me to hear. I make it a priority and I prepare for it. I know myself and I know that I will not wake up on the first alarm, so I set a second alarm in the kitchen. (Yes, it really is that hard to wake me up.) I'm not all about mornings unless I have a cup of coffee in my hand, so I make sure to set my coffee pot every night before I go to bed. The blessings that I receive from my mornings spent with God are so rewarding that I am happy to sacrifice the half an hour of sleep to do it. 

For the past week, my quiet time has been interrupted and sometimes abruptly halted by a certain little cutie pie. He has been going through a sleep regression (or maybe it's the time change), and he wakes up with the chickens every morning. Sometimes he wakes up before my alarm clock even goes off. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of my bible study. Either way, he's been a hindrance to my ability to be still and meditate on God's word. I'd be lying if I said that this hasn't bothered me. My unfinished business plagues me all day when I have these adorable little interruptions. 

After praying over my new dilemma for a few days, I thought maybe God is trying to teach me something here. 

At first I thought He was definitely trying to teach me patience. I prayed for patience when J was about three months old after I'd had some struggles at work while I was also trying to get a handle on juggling a new school year with an infant. It was only afterwards that I truly understood that God doesn't just give you anything. You have to earn it, and boy did I ever earn patience! So in the first couple of days after I started having a little partner during my Bible study, I just thought He was continuing my lesson in patience. Until, that is, I saw my sweet baby bring his Bible story book to me to look at in my lap while I was reading my Bible. He watched me intently and if I picked up a highlighter to mark a verse, he needed one for his book. If I reached for a pen to annotate, he'd immediately need to jot down a 'note' in the margins of his little book. It was like God was telling me, "He learns by watching, mama, and you are setting a great example."

I broke down in tears. Not from pride, but from shame. I was so ashamed of myself for thinking of his presence in my quiet time as a nuisance when it was actually the most positive influence that I could ever really have on my child. Don't get me wrong, teaching him to survive in his earthly home is pretty important, but teaching him how to have a relationship with his Heavenly Father is the most important

I spent years craving a real relationship with Jesus Christ, never really knowing how to achieve one. Just going through the motions hoping for a miracle. But, I have the opportunity to let my child learn how to have a meaningful relationship with Him by being a good example of how to make God a priority not an afterthought. 

Maybe he will always know what to do.

Maybe he won't ever have to know what it feels like to miss God.

Maybe he won't ever have to wonder what a blessing it is to feel God speak to you. 

And maybe that's all because mama showed him what it meant to put God first. 

Proverbs 22:6

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Holding on Loosely

The sun had just risen on a beautiful south Alabama October day. (This means that it was sunny and 85 for all of you who aren't privy to the average temperatures of our odd climate.) I was getting J up and dressed for his first trip to the zoo and pumping him up with tidbits of information on all he'd see. The lions, the tigers, the bears! Oh my! On the drive, J entertained us all with impersonations of dogs and bears and, everyone's favorite, the monkeys. 

As J and his Pa explored the South American bird exhibit, I caught myself trying not to grab him away for fear that he might touch something germ infested. When the birds got old and our group began moving towards bigger and more carnivorous creatures, I felt that ever present urge to pick J up. To protect him, as if I could do anything more than the twelve foot tall wall could. My daddy, who was very good at fostering independence in his children, could sense it. He was constantly telling me, "Just follow him and see where he goes." As I'm standing ankle deep in playground mulch and wrestling a tantruming toddler who has absolutely no intentions of swinging in the baby swing, my daddy gently reminds me to 'let him go.'

Let him go. 

Isn't that the hardest thing a mother can do? When they learn to walk, we hold their little hands as long as they'll allow. When they start practicing their independence and walking by themselves, we use our own bodies as human forcefields to protect them from bumps and scrapes. We don't want to let them go. We know what's going to happen. They are going to fall. They are going to fail.

As a teacher, I wish more mothers would allow their children to learn to fail, but as a mother, I know it's very hard to chose to let your child make their own mistakes. Lessons learned 'the hard way' are oftentimes the lessons that leave the most lasting impression, but it's a difficult thing to watch your child make mistakes that you know are going to hurt them. We are hardwired to push our children towards success. Failure isn't something that we want to see our children encounter, but we're lying to ourselves if we believe that they will never have to feel what it's like to not be good enough. It will be beneficial to our children if we make it a point to let them learn what it feels like to fail and how to handle the emotions that inevitably follow.

As Christians, we have a responsibility to allow our children to experience failure and teach them to turn to Jesus when what they bring to the table just isn't enough. Children need to know that what they are will never be enough without The One who makes them whole, and isn't that our one most important role as their parent? As my new bible study leader said, "We continually struggle with letting them go, but they're not even really ours to begin with." Our most important responsibility as a parent is to raise our children up in a way that is glorifying to God. Teaching your children to fall at His feet when it seems like their world is falling apart is a great place to start. 

If I'm telling myself the truth, I have had an internal struggle between holding on and letting go for as long as I've been a mother. I am always debating whether I should hold his hand and protect him or let him go and let him explore. In the short time that I've been a parent, I've come to realize that parenthood is about continually letting go and the emotions that come along with it. Each milestone has been a celebration but it's also been marked with tears. From the big milestones like first steps and first haircuts down to the small things like changes in diaper size, a mother's world is a hodgepodge of bittersweet moments. And I'm constantly reminded that these little milestones are going to gradually be replaced with much bigger, and harder to handle, life events like driving, college, and marriage. These moments are like water slipping through cupped hands...you can try to hold on, but eventually your hands will be empty.

We are in a constant state of holding on loosely and always letting go, but we will never have to worry about what happens when we 'Let Go' as long as we teach them to 'Let God.'

James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 

Loving a Man with a Servant's Heart

Your grass needs to be cut. There are weeds threatening to take over your patio. The back splash in the kitchen isn't sticking to the wall properly and your coffee bar has been slightly unfinished for the past six months. Your husband has a list of honey-dos a mile long, and he never seems to get a single thing accomplished around the house.

He isn't lazy. Oh no, he's the antithesis of lazy. He's always busy. He almost never gets a spare minute to himself, let alone to spend with you or the kids.

So, what is he doing with all of his time? He's helping. It's what he does.

Does this sound familiar to you? Well congratulations, sister, you have the privilege of loving a man with a servant's heart. It may not be convenient for anyone in your family, but your husband was blessed with the ability to help those in need. It goes deeper than that though, this man wants to help people. He is at his best when he is doing things for others. God blesses each of us with a gift, and this desire to help happens to be his.

I've gone through many emotions loving and learning to live with this man with a servant's heart. We have fought over unfinished projects and cluttered storage sheds. We've argued about uncut grass and unfixed appliances. I've bickered over ungrateful friends who always lean on him but never return the kindness. I've stewed silently in my own anger over the fact that we had to spend yet another afternoon waiting on daddy to finish doing someone else a favor.

I've been neglected. I've been pushed aside. I've been told that my needs are going to have to wait more times than I like to think about.

But I've also felt pride on a level that I didn't know possible. I've felt love grow bigger than life for unassuming reasons that sometimes make me laugh. I've watched my husband work, and I mean really work, until midnight just to get his lawnmower ready and loaded to go help someone cut grass the next day.
My child and I have been dragged out of bed on Saturdays because my husband has to do something for someone. While we're both sleepy eyed and grumpy, he's just as chipper as a song bird because he thrives on helping people. He's the type of person that will literally give you the shirt off of his back and smile while he's doing it.

He never expects payment or repayment; he usually won't accept if it is offered to him. He doesn't even want it. He is content just to know that he has helped someone in need. Whether it's help with some type of work or help with money, he is just happy to help. He is generous in a way that I find inspiring.

It's sad that I haven't understood that until now. We could have saved ourselves a lot of arguments and hurt feelings had I figured this out earlier.

So why the change of heart? I've spent years concentrating on the parts of my husband that I think need to change. (I think that's a practice that I learned from "How to Ruin your Marriage 101") This desire to help people was close to the top of my list. I just couldn't stand the way that people always took advantage of him. I would always ask him, "would he do the same thing for you?" when G was asked a favor. Regardless of the reply, he would always go do whatever it was that was asked of him. Then one day I realized that the way I was living and thinking wasn't glorifying to God. I prayed that Jesus would come into my heart, my whole heart, that he would look into the darkest, dustiest corners and shine the Light in. After this literal change of heart, I started seeing these selfless acts that my husband was compelled to do as God's Work. He might not have been raised in a bible-thumping, pew-jumping household, but he is more Christ-like than me in so many ways.

He sees a need and he fills it. He shows his love for other human beings by just simply doing what God has called him to do with the abilities that God blessed him with. I always talk about how Christians should do a better job of "walking the walk," but I was overlooking one of the best examples of showing Christ's love through actions that I have ever known. He lives in my house with me and I have the blessing of having him as my partner in raising children.

So, we may spend many afternoons waiting on daddy to get finished doing yet another favor. We may have to walk by our unfinished coffee bar ten times a day while G is out working, but it's okay. I'm happy to do it. I wouldn't dare change a thing.

Philippians 2:3-5
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...

No Bruce, I will not call you Caitlyn.

I'm sure we've all seen the picture of Bruce Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair laying across a bed dressed as a woman asking the world to call him Caitlyn. Not only is he dressed as a woman, he has the physique of a woman. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a woman...and a pretty woman at that. I'm also sure that we have all formulated our own opinions on Bruce and his new identity, but I just want to take a second to remind everyone that it's not our job to judge him. No, you see, God ordained Jesus to be the judge. So while we sit around and criticize him, I would like to remind us all that we too are sinners. Our sins are just not as visible. 

I was scrolling through Facebook when I noticed status after status of Christians outwardly judging this man for his choices. Now I'm sure we all read the same Bible, so tell me where it is written that our job as Christians is to decide who does and does not deserve God's grace. I'm actually certain that Jesus told us in his own words, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Those words are written in red, people. I am not trying to come off as holier than though and the last thing I want to do here is seem argumentative, but it seems to me that some of my fellow Christians need to remember the Grace saved them from themselves before they stand on their Facebook soapbox and spew judgement onto others.

Maybe what Bruce Jenner really needs is for Christians to show him a little grace. We do not know what kind of hurtles he has had to cross in his life. We think we do because he has been in the public eye for so long, but we only see a portion of what his life is like. He has been misguided and damaged and the only thing that we are going to accomplish with judgement and criticism is to push him further and further away.

Recently God has opened my eyes to the way some Christians are pushing people away from Christianity. It continues to amaze me how God works; this time he used a student. I was speaking with a student on his last day of school and he explained to me that he is no longer a Christian. Just out of the blue like that. Keep in mind that I have spoken to this student every day of the past school year, and this boy all of a sudden decides to tell me this. I never pry, but I am sure you can understand that I get concerned when I learn that one of my students doesn't know Jesus Christ as his/her Lord and Savior. So, I gently asked why he had such a change of heart. He explained that the biggest reason that he isn't a Christian is the way he has been treated by Christians. Do you see how ludicrous that is? Christians, whose job it is to lead people to Christ, are pushing people away. It is almost enough to bring me to tears. So, I'm using my blog as a platform to shout to other Christians, "Stop pushing other sinners away from Christ!" 

Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with Bruce Jenner's choice to become a woman. I don't think it's his choice to make, and I know that God does not make mistakes. I don't agree with homosexuality, same-sex marriage, or sex changes, but that's not the point. The point is that no one, regardless of life choices, should be treated differently than anyone else. I try not to treat the people that I don't agree with any differently than I would the most right-wing, bible-thumping, pew-jumping, Child of God. Sinners come in all shapes and sizes. Just because we can see the sins of some people more clearly than others does not mean that those people don't deserve the same grace. 

Bruce has a mother, and most of my readers are mothers. Imagine that your son became misguided and lost. Imagine he made bad choices and started going down the wrong road. Wouldn't you want someone to show him grace? Wouldn't you want someone to lead him down the path of righteousness? Of course you would. The last thing you would want would be for people to spew judgement on him for the world to see or for Christians to decide that he was no longer worthy of salvation. 

I think our job as Christians in this ever-changing world is to stand firm and continue our role as the Body of Christ with open arms, healing hands, and loving hearts. So no, Bruce, we will not call you Caitlyn, but we will call you Brother and we will pray that one day we will call you Redeemed. 

Matthew 7:1-2

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.