Thank you to my first friends.

I heard her say it as I was perched on the edge of her sofa trying to keep J from breaking one of her little cute knick-knacks. She was explaining to her friend that she had people over at her house and 'my husband's friend's wife' was her description of me. My husband's friend's wife. She meant absolutely nothing by it. I'm sure that it came out of her mouth without a second thought. But, that's when I realized that I was never going to be more than just 'my husband's friend's wife' to many of my new 'friends.' 

Let me back up. I was blessed to grow up with a tight knit group of friends. Real friends. We went to kindergarten together. We participated in pageants together and cheered harder than anyone when one of us won. Space camp wasn't ready for us when we went in the sixth grade, and Auburn University certainly wasn't ready when we toured it in high school. Emergency shower anyone? We'd spend whole weekends sleeping over at each other's houses. We rode with each other in our first cars and experienced that first taste of freedom together. We cried as we hugged each other after graduation not knowing that we'd experience many more life experiences with these friends right by our sides or at least on the receiving end of our Snaps. These friends have been there from first kisses to first babies. They know my most embarrassing secrets, and they love me anyway. These are friends are something special. My first friends. 

I moved closer to my husband's hometown when we got married, and now there is at least a forty minute drive between me and my closest friends. Not ideal, but I just always figured that is make new friends closer to my new home. No big deal, right? Wrong. Making real friends as an adult takes effort. I'm not saying that I haven't made friends. I have actually come to know some pretty amazing women in my new town, but these new friendships are not like the uncomplicated friendships you forge as a child. There's judgement and criticizism in new friendships. You have to work harder to be accepted into new social circles. You don't know the same people they know. You can't participate in the same walks down memory lane as they can. It's just harder. 

Even some work friends aren't like real friends. I'm sure I've been described as 'this girl I work with' by more than a few of them. I know I've described a few of them that way, anyway. I do have true friends that I happen to also work with, and, by the way, those workplace friendships are irreplaceable too. But even these are much more difficult to build and way too easy to lose. As soon as someone changes jobs that friendship begins to fade. 

But those first friends, they're always there. You might not speak to them for six months but you pick up the conversation like no time has passed as soon as your phone rings. So, thank you first friends. You are irreplaceable, and I can't imagine my life without you.

Proverbs 18:24

Friends come and go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.

I hate Pinterest

We just recently celebrated our little boy's first birthday. Because he is our only child and this was his very first birthday, I wanted to make it extra special. I started planning this party months and months in advance, and I, of course, used Pinterest as the source of many of my ideas. That was my mistake. Pinterest.

I am, by nature, a very anxious person. I am also, by profession, a perfectionist. These two traits alone are enough to cause heart palpitations when planning your child's first birthday party. Add the extreme pressure that the perfectly polished birthday pins of Pinterest put on us amateur party planners and its a nightmare. As I scrolled through Pinterest to gather inspiration for my little man's 'mustache bash,' I pinned idea after idea that I wanted to use. 

I knew from the beginning that I wanted him to have a 'mustache bash.' My sister got him a little onesie when he was born that had a cute little phrase and a big mustache across the front, and I knew that mustaches would make an adorable party theme. To get an idea of what I was up against, just search 'mustache bash' on Pinterest. Go ahead. Actually wait, don't. You might be compelled to plan a mustache bash of your own, and goodness knows I can't be held responsible for the emotional trauma that it might put you through. 

There were so many adorable cake ideas that I actually made three cakes for his party. Yep, three. Why you ask? The only thing that I can come up with is that I'm a complete lunatic and also a masochist. I hate baking. Actually, loathe is probably a better word. I loathe baking. I'm not very good at it either, so why not bake three cakes for my baby's birthday party?! I baked a giant cupcake for his smash cake, two dozen cupcakes with chocolate mustaches on top, and what might have been the most hideous attempt at a mustache cake ever on the face of this planet. Instead of the three long paragraphs that I had typed out to tell you about how I screwed up royally on the cakes, how about you just take my word for it. The smash cake is below...just check out that terrible chocolate cupcake liner. A prime example of how I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. And then there is the mustache. It was so terribly ugly that I just couldn't even take a picture of it. There was no way I was going to document that disaster. It was just...just bad. Just really bad. It was so bad that no one actually got to see it. I just cut and plated it before the guests started eating.  The cupcakes were awesome though. And cute. It is safe to assume that cupcakes are the only type of baking that anyone should ever trust me with.

Then there are the decorations. There were just so many beautiful (read professional) pictures of adorable mustache banners and cute little menu cards. All hand made. All added to my to do list. My panic attack started somewhere along the paper goods area of Hobby Lobby. As I stood staring at that wall of skittles-colored paper plates, I began doubting whether I could actually pull off a Pin-worthy first birthday party. I knew I wanted mustaches, and I knew I didn't want cookie cutter decorations. That's pretty much all I knew though, and any wife who has ever gone shopping with her husband knows that an indecisive woman shopping with her husband in Hobby Lobby is a nightmare for both parties involved. I'm proud to say that our marriage managed to survive that shopping trip. Anyway, I bought an eclectic bunch of decorations and hoped they'd form a cohesive theme once I put them all up. 

As the sun rose on 'party day' my nerves reached an all time high. I woke up bright and early and started cooking, cleaning, baking (...still 😑), and decorating. My awesome husband took J to out for a birthday breakfast while I tried to get everything together. I wasn't nearly finished when they got back but I kept working. With a little help from our neighbor, my sister, and my cousin we finally got the party 'together'. Because I really didn't know what he final product was going to look like, I wasn't really sure when we were finished, but since it was closing in on party time and everything looked pretty cute, I just made an executive decision that we were finished. 

The party started right on time and J had a blast. Of course, as I've come to realize as a mother, nothing went as I had expected but everything was perfect just the same. We had a blast. The only thing that I wish we hadn't done was serve IBC Root Beer. This was a Pinterest-inspired idea, but I wish someone had mentioned that it would look like all of our party guests were sitting around drinking beer. Yeah, not so great for the family photo album. Just sayin'. 

So, you ask, why is it that you hate Pinterest? I mean, I planned my baby's first birthday using nearly all Pinterest-inspired ideas, and it went great.

Well, I don't actually hate Pinterest. I just hate comparison, and Pinterest raises the bar so stinkin high for everything. As a teacher, I'm a go big or go home kind of girl, and this character trait combined with Pinterest turns party planning into a full time job. I thank God that I got married pre-Pinterest. I would have lost my mind trying to plan a wedding worthy of pinning. Don't get me wrong, Pinterest is an amazing tool. I usually don't ever even start a project without consulting Pinterest first. It's just that I miss the way things were before the bar was raised so high. Our first birthdays might not have had smash cakes, menu cards, or high chair decorations, but we all turned out just fine. Our mothers put their hearts into planning our birthdays, but it wasn't so they could post cute pictures...it was because they wanted us to have sweet memories. I think I need to go back to that.

Galatians1:10

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.