Thank you to my first friends.

I heard her say it as I was perched on the edge of her sofa trying to keep J from breaking one of her little cute knick-knacks. She was explaining to her friend that she had people over at her house and 'my husband's friend's wife' was her description of me. My husband's friend's wife. She meant absolutely nothing by it. I'm sure that it came out of her mouth without a second thought. But, that's when I realized that I was never going to be more than just 'my husband's friend's wife' to many of my new 'friends.' 

Let me back up. I was blessed to grow up with a tight knit group of friends. Real friends. We went to kindergarten together. We participated in pageants together and cheered harder than anyone when one of us won. Space camp wasn't ready for us when we went in the sixth grade, and Auburn University certainly wasn't ready when we toured it in high school. Emergency shower anyone? We'd spend whole weekends sleeping over at each other's houses. We rode with each other in our first cars and experienced that first taste of freedom together. We cried as we hugged each other after graduation not knowing that we'd experience many more life experiences with these friends right by our sides or at least on the receiving end of our Snaps. These friends have been there from first kisses to first babies. They know my most embarrassing secrets, and they love me anyway. These are friends are something special. My first friends. 

I moved closer to my husband's hometown when we got married, and now there is at least a forty minute drive between me and my closest friends. Not ideal, but I just always figured that is make new friends closer to my new home. No big deal, right? Wrong. Making real friends as an adult takes effort. I'm not saying that I haven't made friends. I have actually come to know some pretty amazing women in my new town, but these new friendships are not like the uncomplicated friendships you forge as a child. There's judgement and criticizism in new friendships. You have to work harder to be accepted into new social circles. You don't know the same people they know. You can't participate in the same walks down memory lane as they can. It's just harder. 

Even some work friends aren't like real friends. I'm sure I've been described as 'this girl I work with' by more than a few of them. I know I've described a few of them that way, anyway. I do have true friends that I happen to also work with, and, by the way, those workplace friendships are irreplaceable too. But even these are much more difficult to build and way too easy to lose. As soon as someone changes jobs that friendship begins to fade. 

But those first friends, they're always there. You might not speak to them for six months but you pick up the conversation like no time has passed as soon as your phone rings. So, thank you first friends. You are irreplaceable, and I can't imagine my life without you.

Proverbs 18:24

Friends come and go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.