6 Ways to Fly With Time

You hear it all the time. Mothers telling about their baby's newly reached milestone followed by pleading for Time to 'please slow down'. I'm pretty sure I've asked Time to take a more leisurely pace more than once since The Nugget was born, but I don't want to be at the mercy of Time anymore. Not when it comes to my baby.

Time may fly, but I'm going to do my best to not let it fly by me. I'm going to fly with it. Since I'm a list maker, I thought I'd jot down a few suggestions that I plan on following to help me keep up with J as he grows.

Photo Credit: http://www.freerangekids.com/free-ranging-under-the-clock-of-fate/clock/

1) Put down the camera/phone. Be in the moment. Don't be a spectator. Sure, it's nice to have your smartphone at your side at all times so you can catch the first smile, first roll over, or first steps on video, but I'd rather not be the mother who only gets pictures of annoyed children because they are tired of having a camera shoved in their faces. Technology is a wonderful tool, but it takes away from the moment all too often these days. I will do my best to capture memories without letting it take me out of the moment, and I will trust my family and friends to capture the moments that I am too wrapped up in to worry about a photograph or video. Memories are no good if you are not part of them.

2) Stop worrying. Easier said than done, right?! I know better than most that worry can be a poison. It can poison your marriage, your career, and worst of all it can poison your time with your children. I recently posted about how I resolve to 'give it all to God' this year and in the year's to come. I cannot tell you how much of a stress reliever that has been in just the past few days. It is not a cure-all. You cannot go on a shopping spree and say, "It'll be okay! God will make sure my bills are paid!". But, you can do your best with what is given to you and have faith that the rest is in His hands.

3) Stop with obsessing over everything. Do you know what is going to happen if your child gets chocolate ice cream all over that specially made monogrammed Valentine's Day outfit that you bought her? Nothing. Do you know what is going to happen it you don't get to take your baby through his exact bedtime routine and the exact same time every night? Nothing. Do you know what is going to happen if you forget to put the breast milk you pumped today at work in the freezer before it goes bad? Nothing. This one actually happened to me. I went into hysterics (worry much?!), but J was fine. Your child will not remember how cute her clothes were; she will remember how nervous you made her by fussing over her every move. You child will not be harmed by a deviation in his routine. He may actually learn a little flexibility and patience. Your child will be fine if he has to have a little formula because you made a mistake. Really, plenty of babies thrive on formula. Note to self: stop being so crazy.

4) Your house can wait, but your children can't. If you are too worried about a messy house to let your children play freely, see #3. You could pick up all of the toys that are all over the living room, but they're just going to dump them all back out again. Sure, keep the floor clean so the toddler doesn't pick up some unidentified object and decide to see how it tastes; . I'm not saying don't clean; I'm saying to do what is necessary, but never let it come before your child or your child's happiness. I will keep my house as clean as possible without taking time from J. I will teach J how to clean, but I will never break his spirit to get a spotless house.

5) Comparison is a thief of joy. It is a famous quote for a reason; it's true. Stop rushing your child's next milestone because your best friend's baby (of the same age) reached the same milestone week's ago. All children are different. My friend's baby started sleeping through the night very early; J still doesn't sleep through the night. My friend's baby started crawling at 5 months; J has no intentions of crawling...ever. I'm not comparing him to anyone. He is his own person, and I plan on treating him that way. I will enjoy each and every milestone, no matter how big or small, but I will never rush him to reach the next one. He will get there in his own time.

6) They are children; treat them (love them) like children. They are not clocks. Small children have no concept of time. Stop with the scheduling already. When the baby is hungry, feed him. When the child is sleepy, lay him down for a nap. Don't worry about whether it is time for a feeding or for a nap. Routines are great...schedules are not. Babies also need love. It is a need just like food or air. Pick them up, rock them, let them sleep in your arms. You will not spoil them, but you will teach them that you are a safe place and that they can always depend on you. All of this worrying about whether your baby is eating enough or whether he slept too long for his last nap is stealing time that you could be enjoying with your baby. (My mother and grandmother have been telling me this for, I don't know, 8 months! Apparently, I'm a slow learner. Ha!)

Babies grow. It's what they're supposed to do. Growing and reaching milestones are things that should be celebrated, not mourned. Time will pass. There is no slowing it, stopping it, or rewinding it, but what we can do is use the time we've been given in a more powerful way. Stop wasting it on the things that don't really matter and start enjoying it with the people who do! 

Now, go love on those babies! Be blessed!