my child is my reason, not my excuse

Something hit me the other day. Okay, it was really more like I hit it. The floor. Yep, I hit the floor. Just went straight from standing to laying flat out, unconscious on the cold, hard bathroom floor. Right there in front of my sink. No big deal, except that it happens more often than I care to admit. I'm kind of like one of those cute little fainting goats...except without all of the adorableness.

Luckily, it has happened only once in the 8 wonderful months since J was born. You don't really want to be passed out on the floor while your baby screams his head off in the other room, you know? The reason I pass out really isn't a big deal. It is something called dysautonomia. I really don't know much about it except that it has something to do with my blood pressure and it causes me to hit the deck a few times every year. I know how to manage it, and I handle it pretty well. BUT, the fact that I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor while my baby was crying IS a big deal. 

As I came to my senses, it dawned on me that this is not okay. Being physically unable to be there for my child when he needs me is not okay. I'm not really talking about passing out every now and then. It makes me feel bad for a few hours, but I get over it pretty quickly. I'm talking about diseases and ailments that may happen to me in the future if I don't start taking care of myself now. Problems that I can prevent by being proactive about my health now. I need to start taking care of my body with diet and exercise. And that's just what I'm going to do.

In my post-faint stupor, I decided I HAVE to make a change. I have to change my lifestyle. I can't keep living like my health will just take care of itself.

I don't abuse my body per se, but I don't exactly take care of it either. I don't drink, smoke, or take illicit drugs. Come to think of it, I can't even remember the last time I took Tylenol. But, I also can't remember the last time I really exercised. Most days, my eating habits resemble that of an adolescent football player. All bad carbs and bad fats. Quantity and convenience over quality nearly every meal. Pizza, burgers, Doritos, Hot Pockets, and lots and lots of Coke. Sounds yummy, right?

I know how to eat healthy. I just don't. I know how to follow an exercise routine. I just don't. So what's my problem?

Motivation. I've been trying to motivate myself with the wrong goals. I'm not motivated to lose weight. I don't care about wearing a size 2. I'm probably never going to put on another bikini, so why would I care what I look like in one? My husband tells me that I'm beautiful just the way I am, so why change?

My son. He's why. I always want to be able to be there for him. I couldn't get myself up off of the bathroom floor to comfort him when he was crying. I didn't have the energy to take care of him after I fainted. I had to send him to his grandmother because I got winded from picking him up. No more. I will not keep treating my body like a trash can. I will do everything in my power to keep myself healthy and active for decades to come.

I have to start actively taking care of my body so I can always be there for him. I'm young, I know. My body is not going to start breaking down on me next week or anything, but I want to start delaying that breakdown now. Maybe if I start now, I can keep up with J when he wants to play baseball in the yard. Maybe I'll be there to watch him grow, get married, and have his own children. Maybe I can sit cross-legged under the Christmas tree with my great-grandchildren one day.

God gave me one body. One day I'll have to answer to my Creator what I've done with all that was given to me. Everything that was given to me. How will I explain how I treated my body? Do I want to have to explain how I wasted it? Or, do I want to proudly say that I strengthened it with diet and exercise to better do His work? 

So, I need to figure out a plan to keep myself on track. As I pondered diet plans and HIIT workouts, it struck me that healthy living shouldn't have to be so hard. I have used diet and exercise in the past to lose weight, but I didn't have a child then. When am I going to find the time? How will I eat healthy, whole foods when I struggle to get my husband to eat anything green? 

I don't know, but I am going to figure it out. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

I've made my decision. I am doing this, and I plan to update on my progress. Is anybody willing to join me? Please share what you plan on doing to get healthy. What is your motivation? Do you have any tips that I can follow to keep myself on track?