So in true Emily fashion, I began researching as soon as we found out I was pregnant with J. I read blog posts, journal articles, and online forums about the many benefits of breastfeeding. I spent hours on Pinterest weeding through pin after pin about tips to establish and maintain a successful nursing relationship. I watched YouTube videos teaching me how to achieve a proper latch. I learned the breastfeeding jargon. I knew it all....psshh. I knew nothing. NOTHING.
As soon as Baby J popped out, we got skin-to-skin as my 'training' had suggested. I was half covered by a hospital gown with half of my family in the delivery room, but I was too determined to care. He latched immediately and nursed very well. He was a natural. I, on the other hand, was not. I learned very quickly that there are situations in which preparation means nothing. Breastfeeding is one of them. I thought it would come completely naturally to me...it did not. It was awkward and painful and stressful and embarrassing at times. I was not at all prepared for the journey we were about to embark upon, but we figured it out. We succeeded, and we learned a few things along the way.
1) It does hurt...at first. Pre-baby, I read at least ten different articles or blog posts explaining that breastfeeding shouldn't hurt if you're doing it right. I believed them, but they are wrong. It can hurt. Even if you're doing it right. I had three different lactation specialists come check J's latch while we were in the hospital because I was sure something wasn't right. It just hurt SO bad. And bleeding, surely there shouldn't be bleeding. Each of the specialists that watched him latch said that he was doing it perfectly, but it still hurt. And, it continued to hurt until J was about 6 weeks old. I'm not sure if I just got used to it or if J got better at it. Either way, it was a much needed relief.
2) It's not easy. I thought it would be. I mean, no bottle washing, no buying formula, no late night runs into the kitchen to make a bottle. Easy breezy, right?! Wrong! The part I didn't really think about was the fact that I was going to be my baby's sole source of nutrition for at least four months. That's a lot of pressure! It's also a full-time job. When baby wakes up at 2:00 am, it's definitely not daddy he wants! I remember resenting G for sleeping peacefully beside me as I struggled to stay awake while nursing our two month old. And if you plan on going to work while breastfeeding, it only gets harder. You'll now have to block out a couple thirty minute blocks of time for pumping during your already jam packed work schedule.
3) It's not really accepted in public. People pretend to support breastfeeding, but you'll quickly see their real opinion on the matter when you have to feed your hungry baby in the middle of a Chuck E. Cheese. If you expect to have a social life with a breastfeeding newborn you will eventually have to nurse said newborn in public. It's unavoidable. I have nursed in restaurants, while shopping, in waiting rooms, in parked cars, and in public restrooms. (Admittedly, not my favorite place.) I've been given dirty looks and I've been praised. I didn't want or ask for either. I was only trying to feed my hungry baby. I had numerous people ask me why I didn't just pump before we went out. You know, because having a newborn is so easy that you should just throw a completely needless and slightly difficult task in there just to complicate things. Did I mention that I hate having to pump? I never quite figured out why people expected me to go through that much extra effort just to make them feel more comfortable. It seems to me that people are extremely supportive of the idea of breastfeeding...as long as it doesn't affect their everyday lives or make them uncomfortable. Breastfeeding is one thing while you're still in the hospital but something else entirely when you're in public.
4) It requires teamwork. People assume that the act of breastfeeding involves only the mother and baby because those are the only two active participants, but success relies heavily on the support of your husband. At first, G was super supportive of my choice to breastfeed. I had educated him on the benefits and he had agreed that it what was best for J, then we had to reenter that land of the living. Nursing in public was a big hurdle for G to jump. I'm not sure if he was uncomfortable with the actual nursing in public or if he was just worried about whether my nursing J would offend someone. Eventually he came around and he has been amazingly supportive ever since. He brings me the things I tend to always need but forget to grab before J and I settle down in our chair. He's understanding when he knows I've been up with a fussy baby half the night. He knows how much I hate pumping, so he takes the burden of washing and assembling everything off of me. If it wasn't for his support and help, I'm positive that we'd have never made it this far.
5) It doesn't help lose all that much weight. Yeah, it burns a lot of calories, but your body tends to try to make up for lost calories. And do you know how it makes up for those calories? By making you a hungry, hungry hippo. Yes, my post-baby weight is the same if not lower than my pre-baby weight, but it's not like the fat just fell of as I ate to my heart's content. I held on to a good ten pounds until I decided to make a conscious effort to cut calories. But, you have to be careful when dieting while breastfeeding. There's a sweet spot in your calories intake. Too many calories and you won't lose weight, but too few calories and you'll really cut into your milk production. It is definitely not worth breastfeeding if the only outcome you are hoping for is a smaller jean size. You'll never succeed if you aren't in it for the right reasons. Dieting and exercise is just too easy.
6) It's a choice. It's a great choice, but it's still just a choice. You make so many choices on the journey of raising a child; how to feed them is just one of them. Breastmilk is very beneficial to a growing baby, but it's not some miracle elixir. I decided that I would breastfed my baby because I thought it was the best choice for our family. It will not make your baby superhuman. It will not ward off all illnesses. It will not make him a genius. There is research to show that it benefits children in all kinds of ways but so does proper prenatal care and a loving, safe home. There are plenty of ways to raise your children to be smart, healthy, and secure. I know women who were driving themselves crazy trying to breastfeed. Your child doesn't need a crazy mama who is fighting the urge to cry at every turn; he needs a loving, nurturing, caring mama who responds to him with love. A happy mama trumps a crazy mama every day no matter what the child has in his bottle.
7) It is not a superpower. I've seen shirts that say "I breastfeed. What's your superpower?" That's dumb. God gave all women the physical ability to breastfeed their children. That would be the equivalent to saying we are superhuman because we can give birth. No. It is amazing. It is awe-inspiring. It is humbling. It is a gift. It is beautiful. It's not a superpower. #getoveryourself
I've learned so much along this journey. Much of it may be specific to our lives, so maybe this is my truth about breastfeeding. It hasn't all been easy or effortless, but it has definitely been worth it. I'm so proud of my happy, healthy baby boy, and I'm delighted that we've made it this far. I contemplated quitting more that a few times during those impossibly difficult first weeks, but I look back and pity myself. I had no idea how effortless it would become after we figured it all out.
7) It is not a superpower. I've seen shirts that say "I breastfeed. What's your superpower?" That's dumb. God gave all women the physical ability to breastfeed their children. That would be the equivalent to saying we are superhuman because we can give birth. No. It is amazing. It is awe-inspiring. It is humbling. It is a gift. It is beautiful. It's not a superpower. #getoveryourself
I've learned so much along this journey. Much of it may be specific to our lives, so maybe this is my truth about breastfeeding. It hasn't all been easy or effortless, but it has definitely been worth it. I'm so proud of my happy, healthy baby boy, and I'm delighted that we've made it this far. I contemplated quitting more that a few times during those impossibly difficult first weeks, but I look back and pity myself. I had no idea how effortless it would become after we figured it all out.
I'm looking forward to getting my body back after he weans. I'll be able to drink coffee without worrying about the last time J nursed. I can cut calories without stressing over a dip in supply. I can quit timing parent conferences and make up tests around my pumping schedule. But, I'd be lying if I said that I don't get the slightest twinge of sadness when I think about. I'll be all too happy to pack that pump up though!
How did you choose to feed your baby? What have you learned along the way? Would you have done anything differently?
No comments:
Post a Comment